This is an acrylic on canvas board I did during my senior year at USAFA for a Fine Arts class assignment. I was class of 1980 engaged to a class of 1979 grad, and it depicts the conflicting emotions I was already feeling regarding being an officer and a wife and mother. Note the muzzle on my mouth. I remember not feeling like I could or should voice my concerns with anybody. At the time, joint assignments weren’t as easy to come by, and I recognized a difficult decision might be in my future. As it turned out, I served six years on active duty and 21 in the USAFR, retiring as a colonel (27 yrs total). My husband and I have been married 45+ years. He retired after 26 years on active duty. We raised three beautiful, accomplished, well-adjusted children who are all married with six children among them and one on the way. I